The End is Nigh!

Posted on April 23, 2019

ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed misc, i have come to inform you of the single greatest threat we have ever had.

this is an S LEVEL THREAT, i repeat, S LEVEL THREAT

its been under our noses this entire time

the subject

“the last action hero” was released in 1993, and was a pretty okayish movie if we’re being honest, not bad, but something easily forgotten.

we should never forget though.

part of the movie has the potential to literally change our lives forever, and not for the better.

in fact, i believe an artifact from this movie is the great filter

nani the fuark?

the great filter is an idea to try and explain the lack of intelligent life in the immediate galaxy. it states that there is some thing that eventually targets all sufficiently intelligent life, and kills it all.

this is meant to explain why we are the only intelligent life we’ve seen, because all previous intelligent life has hit this filter and died out.

what is this filter? youre guess is as good as mine, or would have been, up until i saw this movie.

the filter

what i am about to say may shock you, it may take a moment to process, and if you find yourself speechless, that is only proof that you are still human.

there exists an item that is capable of transporting between fictional and non-fictional universes, and we have seen it.

the ticket, in the movie, allows the user to travel into a movie or fictional visual media, and interact with the world, including taking characters and things out of the movie, back into the non-fictional world (relative to the user).

let me repeat that.

this ticket, that we know exists in the universe of “the last action hero”, is canonically shown to be able to travel to the universes of other films, many of which exist in our own universe, and move things between them.

so what?

let me set this straight.

any universe that has a depiction in visual media of some grim reaper like figure, is now, through this ticket, able to be made a reality in the viewers universe.

this being is unkillable, kills with a touch, and its only shown limitation in the show is not being able to work on characters not from the viewers universe (however, that character could be killed by their own form of death).

this being may only have limitations because of the specific movie it was taken from, and any movie about an unlimited grim reaper figure, or any form of mass weapon, is now reality if this ticket makes it to our universe.

what are the chances?

it is canonically shown, that the movies universe, which we must take as an existing universe relative to our own due to the nature of this ticket, shares movies with us.

what does this matter?

  • there are possibly an infinite amount of magic tickets, and they are capable of moving around the multiverse extreme quickly, given access to a way of watching movies.

  • it is very likely that any universe can be traced, through its selection of visual media, to any other universe relatively quickly, ala six degrees of seperation.

  • given time, assuming multiple tickets, its fairly likely that the human condition will cause someone holding the ticket to use it to attempt to gain power, which, whether on purpose or not, can cause an extinction level event for our world.

what are our hopes?

we can only pray that the ticket never reaches our world, and that no-one who holds the ticket in a universe that has a cinematic depiction of our universe, cares enough about that movie to travel to it (thus taking the ticket with them).

we can only hope that travel between universes using the ticket is inherently one way, otherwise any universe that shares a movie with us is basically next door, and its much more likely that the death ticket will find us.

finally, we can only pray that whichever beings made the tickets never learn of our existence, for those beings are obviously the final evolution of the soul, and compared to their immense power, we might as well just not exist.