John Deer Black Market

Posted on December 4, 2018

we live in the dystopic tech future that all the movies and nerds warned us about, and i believe this is the case because of this one simple fact.

there is now a underground black market for john deer tractor cracks of all things

let that sink in for a second

ag shit

i work in the agriculture sector, so lets talk a little about farmers

  • they need to get stuff done quickly, they dont have time for delays like there can be in other sectors
  • they like to fix their own stuff when it goes wrong
  • they’re pretty good at engine problems

so the usual workflow for them is something like this:

Tractor breaks -> Needs to be working today -> fix it themselves

john dickhead

john deer is one of the main brands of tractor avaliable today, and they have recently made a bunch of changes to do with vehicle drm that are, in my opinion, pretty fuarking gross.

the brass tacks of this is that farmers are now paying full for a tractor, while essentially leasing it from john deer. the important part of this is that the farmers no longer have the right to repair their own tractor, and john deer have doubled down on this by having software that will prevent the tractor from turning on if there have been modifications done by anyone other than john deer.

whenever you replace a part, you need to put in a generated code in order for the tractor to run again.

this involves ringing up a john deer support line, waiting for someone to drive out to you, install the part that you could do yourself, put in the code, and charge you hundreds of dollars to do so.

this is pretty unnacceptable imo.

illegal warez

this leads to something i find both fizzityucking hilarious but also sorta sad: theres a black market for john deer cracks.

people are paying top dollar for programs that will be able to generate the correct codes, so that farmers:

  • save money in the long run to not have to call john deer support
  • save money by not losing out hours waiting for the support to turn up

and the farmers love it, they cant get enough of this keygen soykaf

thots thots everywhere

i hope john deer go out of business, they’re the agricultural tech giant and i think its disgusting to take away peoples right to repair like that.

in any other sector this would be infuriating, but in the agriculture sector, where diy is so baked into their culture, and delays can be very very expensive, making them wait and pay for something they could easily do themselves, and have been doing themselves is something else.

you script kiddies cracking this software are the real heroes.

please dont sue me john deer this is just my personal opinion