My Favourite Mug

Posted on January 28, 2019

get your ugly mug out of here

people who dont have strong opinions on irrelevent stuff are fukken boring, or as ive come to call them, dumbasses.

with that, lets talk about the features of my favourite mug at work, and my process for ensuring i get to use it.


lets start with the obvious, coffee tastes like soykaf (haha irony geddit) but yeah for real its pretty bad.

also it should be known that i do NOT endorse milk. fuark milk its garbo so milk is out too.

the best you can do with coffee is to have it black and with like, a tonne of sugar. im not even joking about the sugar heres an actual (tm) real life (tm) conversation i had with a friend

tA would you like some coffee?

yes please but no milk

ummmm ok, how about sugar?

a bunch of it please

like how much?

idk a heap

like this? <holds up one heaped teaspoon>

yeah put like five of those in

so this resulting concoction tastes good if its warm, and good if its cold, and so you can just sip on it all day. good stuff.

for this we need a large mug, so that you can hold a suitable amount of it throughout the day.

as such, my favourite mug in our office is in fact, the largest one.


aesthetics are important, theyre one of the main reasons we as humans do anything, those reasons are of course:

  • for the aesthetics
  • for the meme
  • cos itd be radical
  • to impress a girl
  • to be a sick cunt

and so this mug has to have decent aesthetics. it is a white base with a blue, striped bunch of highlights.

the important thing here is that visually it looks 90% similar to the other mugs. i want to enjoy my coffee, i dont want to be standing out and looking like a weird duder.


now there are two main points in favour i wanna make here, and both are semi related.

first of all, the bottom of the mug tapers inwards. this makes it easy to slide onto and off of my desk (which has a tonne of soykaf on it), and more importantly DOES NOT MAKE THAT AWFUL CHALKBOARD NAILS SOUND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO CUT MY SKIN OFF which imho is a pretty stellar point of favour for this mug.

secondly, it makes the inside of the cup super easy to handwash.

but tA, your company has a dishwasher, why do you need to handwash your mug? t. definitely not a spider

that is the secret, my eight legged friends.

sneaky shit

everyday i “accidentally” leave my mug on my desk at the end of the day, and then every morning i handwash it to have my morning been juuce. you know what that means?

no-one else has a chance to get my favourite mug, baby

chaotic neutral right there futhamuckas.

tired, wired and inspired all day every day