A Collection of Personalities Sitting at a Booth

Posted on August 20, 2018

sitting at a booth in a public place are five guys, and in my mind, this is their story.

the story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. no identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred


lets call the first one leo, after leo from that 70’s show, because leo is who leo reminds a lot of people of. the similarity is mostly physical, and oft not genuine, but as far as comparisons to tv characters go its fairly standard. leo is the laid-back hippie of the group, and in my mind, looks like this:

[j|s]andals all year round, bright shirts and loose pants, shaggy hair, says “man” a lot more than they think it, will take any chance to mention phish no matter how loose the connection, likes to quote jeffrey lebowski a lot, and often places their feet on things that society deems risque to place your feet on.

leo doesn’t come out a lot, maybe once or twice a month and only for a few days at most, but most of the group likes him, except for null of course, but its pretty plain to see that leo in return dislikes null so all is well. the group misses leo and wishes he could come out more because without him, everythings a little quiet. dislikes null.


the second is dave, after turntechGodhead himself, dave strider, because like tG, dave is a bit of a child who thinks he’s too cool, and also has nostalgiacally shitty taste in things. dave will wear shitty meme t-shirts, and unironically love them. dave still laughs at old memes and make lazor jokes. dave will watch cartoons and enjoy them, and dave will spend hours talking about his favourite thing, and in my mind, dave looks like this:

short but not too short hair. joke tshirts he proudly displays. has a laptop sticker that says “my other laptop is a thinkpad 701” and will point it out to you to make sure you know its there. drinks iced coffee that he purchased from a dairy, because the supermarket doesnt stock his preferred brand. talks about what he likes, doesnt talk about what he dislikes. will talk too loudly about things that many people would think twice before talking too loudly about.

dave is almost always seen with ross, but they don’t talk much, many people get them confused unless you’ve talked to them a lot in order to tell the difference between their quirks. dave listens to future funk and occasionally some of the jazzier gizzard songs to try and appeal to leo. with dave, ross gets a bit down because eeyore is a bad influence on him, and dave needs to be there to stop that. he dislikes null.


the third is ross, after diana ross, due to ross’ affinity towards floral shoppe by macintosh plus. he is the quiet one of the group, will often spend the entire time on his laptop, but everyone just appreciates that he showed up, and in my mind, looks like this:

a buttoned up shirt with long pants. wears a jacket and loves it. his laptop will change os’s every couple of weeks, either purposefully or accidently is not for mortal minds to know. will talk more on irc or discord than in person, to the point he often prefers it. will spend hours talking about why he dislikes the opposition to his favourite thing. talks about what he dislikes, doesnt talk about what he likes unless used as an argument for the former. will routinely slip away from parties without telling anyone.

ross spends a lot of time with dave, because dave makes eeyore seem less scary. ross likes to listen to mallsoft and yeongrak, but occasionally dave makes him listen to something a bit more upbeat. eeyore gets into ross’ head easily and it makes him sad. dislikes null.


the fourth is eeyore, after the only eeyore that i am aware of. eeyore is a bit of a downer, moreso than ross. he often is not sure what he likes so just sits around moping, and in my mind, looks like this:

clothes of any description mentioned so far, except creased, lopsided and unbuttoned haphazardly. will nurse a can of pepsi for hours, because pepsi was a little cheaper than blue v. will often forego bringing his bag anywhere because he doesnt plan to use anything from said bag anyway. will often forego bringing himself anywhere because he doesnt plan to be paying attention to anything but his thoughts anyway.

everyone says they like eeyore, but they don’t really, they just want him to feel better about himself. eeyore likes almost everyone, but dislikes them if he has to spend too much time around them. he gets visibly frustrated trying to decide between seeing people or not, but no-one sees this because it only happens when he is alone. dislikes null.


the last of the group is null, named so after the number of people in the group that like him. null is always hanging around the group, sitting a seat or two detached. no-one wants him there but they can’t seem to get him to leave, and in my mind, he looks like this.

non-descript clothing, not in the sense of a clothes style, but because no-one can pay attention to them for long enough to remember. black eyes, pitch black, fully, with shadows resembling scratch marks or ink stains or pencil scribbles along both eyes and his mouth. dead lifeless hanging arms. dead lifeless hanging legs. dead lifeless hanging person.

null has no emotions and so we cannot say who he likes. no-one likes null.